i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
