My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
