ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
