After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize