areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
