Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
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Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
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Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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