if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
