i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
