I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
