Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize