So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
