you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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