nut hugger
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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