If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
