went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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