I didn't shave. On purpose
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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