To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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