Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
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