they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
