Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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