Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
