I just made out with a guy for $7.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
