you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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