booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
