if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
