I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize