I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
