she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
