she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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