I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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