I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
