Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
