I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
