So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize