people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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