If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
