Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
