Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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