when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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