There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
