But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
