Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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