My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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