Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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