her vagine was all disorganized.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
