I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
