How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
