It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
