I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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