toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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