We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
