We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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