I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
