loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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