Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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