Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
