Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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