yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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