this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
