Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
